"Please vote for us, and give us money!"

....

That was the theme of the adhaalath partey's meeting tonight. For a bunch of criminals who make more cash in a month than an honest businessman can save up in a year, (what with their business connections, an enormous government budget and their shares in tropical island resorts) they sure are desperate for the magic paper, eh?.

Here's some priceless quotes, LIVE (not really) from their meeting.

‎"Vote for us! We only want a just, islamic nation!." (Coming from a bunch of money-eating businesmen whose mercenaries threatened to ruin life for all Maldivians, this is hilariously funny.)

‎"Pay zakat money to us!. Trust us!"‎ (No one knows where the 'religious channel' is at. How many years has it been?)

"We know how to protest, too!" (Note that the supreme saudi overlords decreed that protests are against shari'a law.)

"We forcibly created the Ministry of Islamic Affairs! Now, no friday sermon goes by without our approval!" (Note the fact that Maumoon did the same thing back in his day.)

"We're not irrelevant! We have a new political heavyweight in our ranks! He studied in England!. We're not a 'bunch of sheikhs' our adhaavaahtherin(opponents) try to claim! We are a political entity!.

"After we took over, zakat money was doubled to 34 million rufiyaa!" (Where's the money, filthy donkey fuckers?. WHERE'S OUR MONEY, YOU CAMEL MECHANIC FOREIGNERS?)

"Vote for us, and we will reduce the horrible overspending in the majlis!" (Psh, they didn't raise a finger against the majlis privileges bill.)

"Our party is full of patient, just people! Vote for us, or else Maldives will fall apart in 2013?!! THE END IS NEAR!!"

"Israel is backing the MDP! WITH SECRET DEALS AND SHIT THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" (We all know what happened with Bush and that fatass Saudi Prince.)

‎"VOTE FOR US! EVERYONE WHO LOVES MALDIVES AND ISLAM WILL VOTE FOR US!" (Classic adhaalath partey modus operandi, hogging islam like a brand name or something.)

"Anyone is free to join and run for power in the adhaalath party! WE NEED YOU!" (Appealing to the lazy bums who want 5 digit salaries for nothing but acting like a screamo band? LOL!)

‎"A nation under the Adhaalath party will have women's rights! I guarantee it!."
(Cue their 'women's branch head entry')

‎(Some woman in a burugaa starts rambling in arabic.)

"The only party that can dispel the terrors, rapes, murders and crimes plaguing Maldives is the adhaalath party!" (spoken in faux passionate voice)

"All women in Maldives live in terror! Even a foreigner withdrawing money from the bank is threatened and mugged!"

‎"Mothers are forced to watch as others abuse their children!. We women sometimes submit to domestic abuse out of fear of azaabu from god!. Women are forced to abort their children!. It is time for us women to join hands with the adhaalath party and work with them!."

‎"EVERYONE! VOTE FOR THE ADHAALATH PARTY! IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO GUARANTEE HUMAN RIGHTS TO WOMEN!"

I shudder to think what sort of bullying convinced that woman to speak for them. Of course, simpletons who have spent their lives abroad have no idea of the situation in Maldives, nor the level of political prostitution the adhaalath parteys engage in, then brag about.

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Sudden end of broadcast. Did they run out of money because they shelled it out for camels in drag?. This is a train of thought I will not pursue. This has been a LIVE report from deep behind enemy lines on the Adhaalath parteys meeting (aka Vote and fund begging boogaloo). Back to you, troll in the studio 1.